Netflix Suggestions: Terribly Inaccurate or Eerily Correct
Netflix has either gotten stupider in the last month, or way too smart for its own good. As evidence, I submit to you the screenshot below: Netflix is correct that I did enjoy Delicatessen, MST3K: The Brain That Wouldn’t Die, and Rashomon. And Netflix is also correct that I would enjoy Homestarrunner: Everything Else: Vol. 1. But what crazy algorithms are they using to come up with this conclusion? The conclusion is dead on. It is just very hard to believe that Netflix came to this conclusion all on its own. I think, perhaps, it is trying to seem smarter than it is. Like the guy...
Read MorePhrases to Replace Bling-bling
1. Sky Mall “I gots ta get my Sky Mall on before I hits the club.” 2. Goose i.e. golden goose “That goose be as big as a midget!” 3. Leprechaun “I gotta go to da mall to leprechaun my phone!” 4. Top hat “He act all top hat, but he really just derby.” 5. Cheers “He got so much Cheers, everyone know his name. 6. SNuh (Swallow’s Nest) “That dapper fellow certainly has the rube to purchase only the best SNuh.” 7. Shiny things “Wow, those sure are some shiny...
Read MoreThe Office Smile
If you work in an office crammed with cubicles and drowning in white noise, then you are more than likely the recipient of an “office smile.” If you do not spend 8 hours a day surrounded by muted colors and people who leave their loud cellphones on their desk when away at lunch, you can experience the sacred ritual that is the “office smile” by reading these tidy instructions. Step 1. Get up from your desk and walk somewhere else. Do not worry, as your desk will still exist when you eventually return. Step 2. Make eye contact with another employee who you have seen...
Read MoreThe Opposite of Bridges
I live in the Twin Cities, located in snowy Minnesota. If you happen to live anywhere at all, you have heard that the 35W Mississippi River Bridge here collapsed for reasons unexplainable as of yet. But everyone is talking about this, so it is time to talk about the opposite of bridges. So what is the opposite of a bridge? A bridge is a material object that connects two areas for means of transportation. What is an immaterial item that connects nothing? Why, Phrenology, of course! Phrenology is the theory that your personality and criminology can be determined by the shape of your head. As a...
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