In A Row
If Michael Phelps can win five gold medals in a row (as of this writing), then I can blog for three days in a row. Or, rather, write for three days in a row. I get kind of sad when I use “blog” as a verb. And there is already enough sadness on this pale blue dot of ours. Yesterday, I used Twitter to make a terrible pun that is now my favorite thing in the world. In short, I claimed to be playing Gra Bass. Which, for dirty minds the world around, breaks down to grabass. From what I understand, grabass is like horseplay but more homoerotic. Yet, I qualified this “Gra...
Read MoreDoctors Are Trained Professionals
Listen, my back hurts. It has been hurting on and off for about a month, and I have been in constant pain for the last week. And I like to complain. It fills time in the mindless conversation we’re having. But your response to my complaining should not be to “see a chiropractor.” Are you trying to be useless? You seem to be missing a step. How about I “see a trained professional who graduated from medical school” first? That’s what you should suggest, if you cared about my well being. Chiropractor’s should be filed in the same category of prescription...
Read MoreI Don’t Know What Will Go Here
There isn’t anything specific or pressing to blog about, but that hasn’t stopped millions of people before me! Let’s go! For a minimum of four hours yesterday, there was a small puddle of chocolate milk slowly making its way into the fibers of our office carpet. It was not my chocolate milk, and I don’t believe it belonged to anybody. If it did, that anybody would have had four hours to come by and retrieve it with a paper towel. Nobody could be lazy for four hours unless they were asleep. And this is a place of business. I saw two Fringe Festival shows this year. I...
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