Shady Tactics from Northwestern Mutual
I received a rather casual sounding call at my office from a fellow at Northwestern Mutual. It seems that this guy had just gotten done talking to my good friend X. X, being someone I have never met face to face and only know through social networking. The fellow was surprised that X hadn’t called me about his call! X had, allegedly, dropped my name as someone who may be interested in the financial services that Northwestern Mutual has to offer. At this point, I hang up on the salesman from Northwestern Mutual. Obviously, X would never have dropped my name because they barely know my...
Read MoreWhat A Mess!
Guys, what is going on with this ad? Does the prominent “WHAT A MESS!” refer to the ad itself? Or is it what God is thinking about the current state of Earth’s Powerpoint presentations? Perhaps God is referring to his mangled right hand, where Jesus is supposed to sit. Or He’s talking about the galaxy he accidentally conjured up within our solar system. Maybe God is crashing into Earth, and he is lamenting the mess it will make. And what does Africa think it’s up to? All pictures of Earth should focus on North America. Get out of there, Africa. Seriously, what...
Read MoreFeel Better, Tylenol
Oh no, you guys! Something is seriously wrong with our good friend, Tylenol! Not only did he lose his spot on the varsity football squad due to his poor academic performance, but he has spiraled into a deep depression after he and Cindy broke up! Not only that, but Tylenol’s parents totally took away his car for a month after they found weed in his jacket pocket. Also, he has the mumps. Feel better,...
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