The Audition
The butterflies are back. My job is over the for the day, but I’m sitting in my cube eating pizza and waiting. Waiting for the clock to show me 8:10pm. That’s when I have my first theater audition in many years. Don’t get my wrong. I’m not fooling myself into thinking I’ll snag my first audition right out of the rusty gate. This isn’t the most important audition of my life, and I’ll go ahead and audition for some other productions after this. But it is the first audition in a long time. And thus, the insects fluttering in my belly. Whoops. Bloody...
Read MoreThe Birthday Breakfast
The goal was to keep my birthday low-key. You see, a perfect birthday is short on both stress and obligations. The only real plan was a trip to IKEA. And you’re right. It’s a zoo for furniture, and the people there walk around like they forgot the quickest path between two points. But I had prepared myself for IKEA. There would be no gawking-idiot induced stress. What I had not prepared myself for was IHOP. No, I didn’t spell IKEA wrong. I mean the International House of Pancakes. Both IKEA and IHOP are located in the same vicinity, and a hearty breakfast was needed to make...
Read MoreIn A Row
If Michael Phelps can win five gold medals in a row (as of this writing), then I can blog for three days in a row. Or, rather, write for three days in a row. I get kind of sad when I use “blog” as a verb. And there is already enough sadness on this pale blue dot of ours. Yesterday, I used Twitter to make a terrible pun that is now my favorite thing in the world. In short, I claimed to be playing Gra Bass. Which, for dirty minds the world around, breaks down to grabass. From what I understand, grabass is like horseplay but more homoerotic. Yet, I qualified this “Gra...
Read MoreDoctors Are Trained Professionals
Listen, my back hurts. It has been hurting on and off for about a month, and I have been in constant pain for the last week. And I like to complain. It fills time in the mindless conversation we’re having. But your response to my complaining should not be to “see a chiropractor.” Are you trying to be useless? You seem to be missing a step. How about I “see a trained professional who graduated from medical school” first? That’s what you should suggest, if you cared about my well being. Chiropractor’s should be filed in the same category of prescription...
Read MoreI Don’t Know What Will Go Here
There isn’t anything specific or pressing to blog about, but that hasn’t stopped millions of people before me! Let’s go! For a minimum of four hours yesterday, there was a small puddle of chocolate milk slowly making its way into the fibers of our office carpet. It was not my chocolate milk, and I don’t believe it belonged to anybody. If it did, that anybody would have had four hours to come by and retrieve it with a paper towel. Nobody could be lazy for four hours unless they were asleep. And this is a place of business. I saw two Fringe Festival shows this year. I...
Read MoreTethered
The Minnesota weather was remarkably nice last night, and I had resolved to buckle down for doing some serious writing for Blank It. But my dreary basement didn’t seem like the place to type away on such a beautiful day! What was I to do? Maybe I’d could take my wife’s laptop outside to write. But what about the internet connection for Google Documents access? And would the sun be too bright for the screen? Also, I don’t have any outlets on the outside of my house. Would the battery power last long enough? And then I remembered about pens and...
Read More